Berk: Zombie movies can teach us
Is Yale prepared for a zombie attack?
After wasting hours of time studying for tests, writing senior essays or building Styrofoam dinosaur dioramas, many students forget to focus on the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Once the crisis hits, where will the unprepared student body turn? The political science majors are too soft, Directed Studies freshmen are too inexperienced and those math kids will probably just stay in the library working on problem sets. Who can possibly be our zombie saviors?
Enter public health enthusiasts.
If you’ve ever seen a zombie movie,...
I hope some folks have guns on campus... gonna be hard for those public health students to work on a cure with zombies crashing throguh the windows... a couple of ROTC stundents who can really shoot are going to be an indispensable part of any anti-zombie campus response team.
Yale has been a zombie vector for years. How old is Skull & Bones?
These planned measures are all well and good. But they fail to address the more immediate problem - zombies at your door.
In such instances, I recommend a more remedial approach. Shoot them in the head. As such the best approach is similar to that proposed in many of the video games - a high capacity carbine, such as a Bushmaster or SIG 556, lots and lots of 5.56 mm ammunition and an appropriate sidearm.
I'm ready! Are you?
Given Yale's hostility to firearms, the most effective weapon against the zombie menace is unlikely to be found in any dorm. As we have learned, "Kill the Brain, Kill the Ghoul" and nothing does that better than a shot gun shell.
Once again, Yale's reflexive Leftist perspective leaves its graduates unprepared for the challenges of the real world.
Actually, all you do is hand Woody Harrelson a baseball bat, tell him the zombies are paparazzi, and get out of the way.
If zombies eat only brains
The Ivy League Will Cause Strains
A severe lack of same
Will bring the end game
And bring peace to their mortal remains
....nnnn..'o.o'..uu!u....algie
Illegitimi nOn carborundum
Of course they'll be ready. after living in New Haven.....
This is excellent and well-written. I bet the columnist is really cool.
This is legit.