Reckless mooching as a viable lifestyle
Next year, some of you may plan to live in a world of ideas. I hope to live in an apartment. This presents certain problems because it is hard to find apartments in the world that are free. Every night, I pray that God will build a residential college in New York City where we can all go to play intramural sports, eat hamburgers and step over puke in the hallway. God usually says “No,” prompting me to add an extra “Please?” to which God replies, “Eli, turn me off, I’m not God, I’m only the television, and you’re freaking your roommate out.”
There are a lot of things to consider...
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