I will advise you on matters sexual. Also, I myself will have a lot of sex.
Hi! I’m a sex columnist. This is because I have more sex than anyone at Yale. That being said, being a sex columnist is not all fun and games. Yes, I have certain responsibilities. The first of these is to remind you, the erotic plebes, of how much sex I am having. The second of these is to guide you, the sexual proletariat, towards the Platonic Form of the hookup, a form which I guard zealously, like a T-Rex over the carcass of a Triceratops with a “Quinnipiac” sweatshirt half off. The last of these is to derive some sort of moral lesson from my adventures and misadventures, hopefully one...
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