Charles Gariepy
Charles Gariepy
Recent Stories
Style points: arbitrary and fictitious, but necessary
Style is something that often gets overlooked in the most heinous of ways and I propose that we bring it back. Yes, I call for more style points, please!
My body parts move quickly. I’m an athlete.
If I talked as fast as a track star ran, would you call me an athlete? Suppose I weighed 5,000 lbs and couldn’t move in any other capacity, but I could talk faster than anyone in the world. The body-parts that produce sound in me would move faster than those of anyone else. The track star would obviously be an athlete. But, would I? I argue, yes.
Whether they’re called extreme or insane, they’re not for me
Extreme sports include, for example, BASE jumping, paintballing, paragliding and wing walking. Wing walking is when you move out onto the wing of airborne plane. I didn’t know what that was called either. I thought something like that was just called insane.
If it’s about heat, panting and contortions, it can’t be that bad
This is no den of sin, no chamber of secret, corporeal pleasures. This is Bikram’s Hot Yoga studio. Welcome.
It’s picking season again. Relax, it doesn’t actually matter
During this picking season, as we get worked up and tired out by the games and decisions and selections that seem so important now and that need to be made, lazy-fun time emerges as a well-deserved respite and a priority. While those whom it concerns are picking athletes and teams, I’d rather pick a good seat in the bleachers.
Forget Cancun and Key West, let’s make ‘SB07’ about getting fit
This year’s spring break (“SB07” as it will be referred to in this article and should be referred to in life) promises a lot of the same things that all spring breaks promise. It means home, if not rest. It means warmth, if not sun. But above all, it signifies a well-earned change of pace for us all. It’s a time for moving.
Nude athletes need some lovin’, too. If you know what I mean…
Nude sports have historical significance and precedents; my plea is to bring them back indefinitely. I take a kind of “why not” attitude to the nude sports arena. I just say that we should let ’em loose and see what happens.
Bring on the mountain lodges and snow! Just don’t ask me to ski.
Skiing holds an interesting association with wealth, not class. The truth of the matter is that the gear and the mountain view room all come at a preposterously pretty penny.
Wait a second. You mean Terrell Owens actually plays football?
Terrell Owens is my favorite actor — wait, professional football player. Same thing!
Because Ms. Diane ‘Said So’
For those of you who haven’t seen the extremely long and incredibly fun trailers, “Because I Said So” is a tale of love, life, family and post-menopausal sex.