Daniel Zier
Daniel Zier
Recent Stories
Zier: All the single Euros, can’t buy me love
I’m going to be blunt with you: This article is about hatred. It is about vengeance, and it is about spite. It is about how I have been wronged, and it is about how I plan to right those wrongs. More than anything, it is about Europeans.
Zier: Zier clots fast, loves faster
It has recently come to my attention that the producers of ABC’s “The Bachelor” are holding open auditions for their next male lead.
Zier: My package
I think it’s fair to say that America is at a crossroads. But unlike the last crossroads we saw, in which Britney Spears revealed to us the trials, tribulations and eventual enjoyment of rediscovering childhood friendship through an emotionally taxing cross-country joyride, this crossroads has nothing to do with childhood friendship or brilliant filmmaking.
Zier: BBM to Dad: Watch your back
I found out a little while ago that my dad is getting a BlackBerry, and I’m pissed as all hell. You’re probably asking yourself right now: “What’s wrong with that? I have a BlackBerry, and so does my dad. He uses it to check his e-mail when he’s traveling on business.” Well that’s all nice and cute, except there’s a huge, fundamental difference between your dad and my dad, which is that my dad could kick your dad’s ass. He is a man among men, and this BlackBerry is a terrible blow to the Zier family testosterone pool.
Meet Joe Six-Pack Brown the Plumber
In the months preceding the presidential election, much has been said about the proverbial “Joe Six-Pack.”
Zier: Buffalo Dan hates foliage
Upon arriving in the Northeast to go to Yale I was struck, and I continue to be struck, by the diversity of the population. Rarely do two Northeasterners look alike, act alike or think alike and each tends to be staunch in his or her opinion. As far as I can tell, disagreement is very much the modus operandi of the area. There are, however, two beliefs most Northeasterners appear to agree upon.
Zier: I value your comments
When I was asked to write a biweekly column in scene, I blindly accepted, without any expectation that what I wrote would be heavily scrutinized for its social and political worth. Admittedly, this was fairly ignorant, since my columns generally touch upon hot political topics, like how Lent is a celebration of the Daytona 500 and how Machu Picchu used to be an Inca-themed amusement park that Hiram Bingham III invented. I should have anticipated the passionate responses my columns would incite, but frankly, I didn’t think anyone would read them, let alone dedicate several minutes to crafting an impassioned response on the News’ Web site.
Daniel Zier: Obama, McCain neglect the real problems facing Americans
These are the issues that matter to America, and I’ll be damned if this campaign continues without a robust debate on what should be done. The longer we wait to act, the longer Shia Labeouf has to act. It’s simply not worth the risk.
Welcome to Yale, land of virgin roommates, Asian adventures
To the Members of the Class of 2012, Congratulations on beginning your freshman year! On behalf of all members of our esteemed, tight-knit community, I would like to extend a warm, grass-fed welcome to you and your parents during your first week as an Eli!
Nobody likes a twenty-year-old in a dirty poncho
People always get really upset with me when I tell them I’m a vegan. If the topic ever comes up, my admission is almost inevitably met with stares of condescension, rolled eyes and furrowed brows.