Jana Sikdar
Jana Sikdar
Recent Stories
Getting soft senior year sucks
I am impotent. I don't have a penis -- but that is irrelevant. I don't need a penis because I myself am a spectacularly disappointing, flopped-over, flaccid phallus. In my work -- my senior essay, if we're speaking frankly -- I am not merely coming up...
Cerebella succumb to senior stress
Blank. I am completely blank. I am thinking absolutely nothing. And my major concern about that is …! I have no opinion on the matter because in the place where that opinion should be hangs a sign that reads, "Vacancy." If you are expecting anything...
It's all rainbows and puppies til graduation
Last week I fell into happiness. And the sun did not explode. And, as far as I can tell, the forecast is not calling for The Apocalypse. In an unexpected turn of events, my life pulled out of the negative zone of disaster and I found myself doing...
Laughing, crying, and losing someone you love
Essentially, there is nothing funny about death. Essentially. Then again, you've never been dead in my family. Death in my family is sort of hilarious. The actual end of the person's earthly existence we take quite seriously. The Sikdar family...
Life after Yale: a "choose your own adventure" sans paper cuts
[If you want to read a column about the State of the Union Address or Gunther, turn to someone else's column. To continue your participation in the unfolding of this revolutionary Choose My Own Adventure Sikdar-Style Column please see: paragraph below.
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On a recent trek to Walgreens, my roommate and I came upon two terrycloth towel animal heads -- the sort used to swaddle toddlers post-bubble bath. She and I proceeded to chase each other through the store disguised as a toad and a giraffe...
When an ovum revolts, there's no recourse but couples counseling
My ovary just gets sadder and sadder. That is what my doctors tell me. My ovary is like a gonadal, unfunny, feeble version of myself: It feels oppressed, moody, behaves erratically, it simply refuses to do what it has to do and, in my opinion, it's...
Team monogamy: the advantages of whoredom
I can't go to the Game this year. Unlike in years past, when I claimed I had a good reason but actually just had no interest in standing around and watching mediocre football being played in the bitter cold, this year I really, truly, for serious...
When backhanded compliments backfire
Compliments are a lot like oral sex -- more enjoyable to receive than to give. Anyone who says otherwise has self esteem issues or ulterior motives. No matter what end of the exchange you are on, it's tricky. Patrons walk the fine line between being...
After eight rainy days, all aboard the ark
Inspired by the seven consecutive days of rain last week -- the following is a retelling of the classic tale of Noah's Ark. The author humbly asks her audience -- human and other worldly -- to forgive artistic license. Noah & Co. make ready The Ark...