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Meet Lance!
Flaunting a flowing blond bowl cut, Cody Ross Pitts stars as Lance in Yale’s new security video. Pitts may be Phi Beta Kappa material, but massive chunks of the video’s inception and intention still remain a mystery, even to him.
Dispatches from shopping period: Total War
HIST 273 Europe in the Age of Total War, 1914-1945 MW 11:35-12:25 LORIA 250 From Prof. Jay Winter, during his first lecture: "Thinking that the present is the only thing that matters is what goldfish do."
scene recommends: Camp Yale (Monday, August 30)
COMMUNITY HEALTH EDUCATORS INFORMATION SESSION DWIGHT HALL LIBRARY // 8:00 AM Come watch the Community Health Educators display their skills, namely putting a condom on a wooden penis and scaring the pants back onto kids who might otherwise contract STIs. ROWING TANK B, BASEMENT OF PAYNE WHITNEY GYM // 1:00 PM Are you tall, slightly athletic and in awe of the crew team after its Saturday night party? Why not walk on to the team, act like your really into it for a while and then quit, realizing that you can’t handle the hours spent behind a rowing machine, floating on cold waters and caressing faces with calloused hands. SSS ROOM 114 // 2:00 PM Judson Brewer, MD, PHD tells you how to identify stressors and resist their ulcer- and hemorrhoid-causing charm. Expect the doctor to give you great tips on reconnecting with your love affair with prescription pills, long-distance running and masturbation. Don’t let the event’s title stress you out. WOMEN’S CENTER // 10:30 PM Learn about LGBTQI living at Yale with smores, cookies, gummies, popcorn and milk! YUMMY! THE CALHOUN CABARET // 11:00 PM This is the open mic night of the Yale Record (the humor magazine). You’ve heard of humor? You’ve heard of stand up? Watch or participate. Be brave.
scene recommends: Camp Yale (Sunday, August 29)
DKE LATE NITE 79 LAKE PLACE // 2:00 AM Arguably more entertaining than Toad’s, DKE Late Nite features large shirtless men dancing on a wooden bar, as nearly-expired girls grind away their envy for the youthful, wrinkle / cellulite-free freshman class. OLD CAMPUS GREEN // 7:00 AM Start out your Sunday right with a yoga course for experienced, flexible, balanced and mentally strong students. Follow up with an intense Boot Camp with the tight-assed equivalent of General McChrystal. If only Dean’s Office liaison Therese Barbuto knew that nobody wants to wake up early to sweat through high-intensity cardio after a late-night of Obama-era Yale parties. CALHOUN COURTYARD // 9:15 AM After that Power Yoga and Boot Camp, you might want to nourish your exhausted body with a smorgasbord of finger foods and a bottle full of Jesus. Eat, Pray, Love. TBD // 3:30 PM Come learn about all the wonderful theatrical options at Yale before quitting your career as a valuable high school actor as a surprising voice crack eliminates your chances of getting a callback for Rent the Musical. Or succeed. 211 PARK STREET // 8:00 PM A beautiful mystery on campus, these jazz era ZEALOTS carry the torch of a ghostly tradition that will surely find an audience at Toad’s or DKE Late Nite. Basically they’re not drunken idiots. Probably. WOOLSEY HALL // 10:30 PM Nothing says awesome Sunday night like 2.5 hours inside Woolsey wondering why singers ever perform without instruments. Everyday is “College Musical” when you join a cappella. No, just kidding. Everyday sucks when you join a cappella. WOMEN’S TABLE // 4:00 PM This group has devoted its existence to preserving the legacy of Lil’ John and having good skin. We hope. It sounds like they will be checking in with each other for a while on Sunday afternoon. The mystery of this group’s name exceeds our interest in tracking down their actual function. Good luck guys.
scene recommends: Camp Yale (Saturday, August 28)
BOOKS ARE BETTER THAN KEVIN SORBO (AKA CROTONIA LITERARY SOCIETY) BERKELEY COMMON ROOM // 7:30 PM In the past, whenever we attended this charming group’s charming literary fêtes, everyone brought a copy of their favorite books and poems and read it aloud. Snaps. One girl read the entire proposal scene from Pride and Prejudice. Someone else read Tom Waits lyrics. Someone else read Dorthy Parker and then read an entire chapter of Harry Potter. So it’s a mixed bag of well-meaning oddballs and certainly not as serious as the Yale Lit, whom we always strive to impress with every fiber of our existence always. (Side note: Books may be better than Kevin Sorbo -- but they are not better than Lucy Lawless. #goddammit.) LOCAL 269: NEW YORK, NY // 9:30 PM Two great bands we haven’t heard enough from yet, Yale / NYC power duo Gets the Girl and Columbia’s Life Size Maps, are playing this weekend in NYC. The Internet says they’re “back from a six month hiatus,” which makes sense because Ellis Ludwig-Leone has been working hard on his other band, Sic Inc. You can dig all of that. Plus, New York is not very far from here, and if you make the trip, the concert is at a Union headquarters, The Local 269. And unions are cooler than you are. AND HEY BRING A DATE AND YOU MIGHT EVEN GET THE...[nervous panting]. DAVENPORT COMMON ROOM // 10:30 PM With all of the madness over improv and a cappella at Yale, many kids overlook the likes of sketch comedy groups Red Hot Poker and The Fifth Humour. While The Fifth Humour lost some major players in Claire Gordon, Streeter Phillips and Ross Uhrich, Red Hot (not to be confused with “Jazz-themed” a cappella group Red Hot and Blue) is standing strong with ex-Whiffenpoof Jerry Lieblich, Kristia Wantchekon, Jason Richey and former YCC president Jon Wu. 216 DWIGHT STREET // 11:30 PM Radio at Yale has a new, sleek and sexy feel thanks to Sean Owczarek and his executive board of 80 kids who’ve built a digital station, basement concert series and magazine that is Volume’s contentious baby cousin, featuring “experiential” writing. If you’re interested in becoming a radio deejay or acquiring a leadership position in a well-endowed organization during your first year of membership, show up to the WYBC mixer Saturday at 9:30 in Calhoun College Suite K11. There will surely be some PBR on hand to hold you over before the main event later that night, an 11:30 pm hootenany at 216 Dwight Street. Very sustainable. 300 YORK STREET // 11:00 PM “Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.” – Anonymous. The infamy! All roads obviously lead to this hallowed York Street dancehall and concert venue that hosts the impious saliva-swapping and heavyweight grinding of Yale’s most devoted clubkids like a legendary irresponsible parent. We recommended Wednesday nights more than the Saturday cattle call, but witness this awesome weekend staple once and you will have lived.
scene recommends: Camp Yale (Friday, August 27)
THE YALE RECORD OFFICE // ALL DAY It’s not very funny and shouldn’t be labeled as an event on Yale Station. If you really want to read it, just access it online at http://www.yalerecord.com/bluebook. 37 EDGEWOOD AVENUE // 7:30 PM Get the year started right with a l’chaim and a free and delicious shabbat dinner. The dining halls are closed, so why not open yourself up to a room chalk full of swinging singles and challah bread! DAVENPORT COMMON ROOM // 11:00 PM Abbreviated improv shows are great, as hit jokes from last year’s shows are recycled before naïve freshman ears. Don’t miss Purple Crayon’s performance. They are long-form masterminds. And get pumped for your first in-flesh interaction with “That’s Why I Chose Yale” director Ethan Kuperberg '11 and his best Just Add Water comedy buds Will Stephen '11 and Matthew George '11 (who’s totally writing a musical alongside James Franco)!
scene recommends: 4.29.10
The countdown begins. We all need a little sunshine. Researchers found it in Turkey, or so they think! 99.9 percent sure! Stay tuned for updates… Fat cats are ruining the nation, and you know it. Write to your senator/representative to ask for a policy that holds bankers accountable for the recession. This ultra-secret Disneyland society is a dining room above the Pirates of the Caribbean ride that counts 483 big-wallas as its members. scene salutes you.
Live-blogging Spring Fling
Spring has sprung, and that means it's time for Yale's annual Spring Fling concert. Rain or shine, scenesters will be out on Old Campus, sending dispatches and covering the revelry.
scene recommends: 4.23.10
Because, more than anyone else, his comic characters Zero and Nyao have embodied the collective imaginations, hopes and fears of Yalies. scene salutes you! Won’t she be scene’s friend even though we’re in “lesser societies”? The Seven Sisters, or the seven “sailing ones,” are possibly the most beautiful of all celestial bodies. Make time for these lovely ladies come summer. Today, 3 p.m. at the Yale Farm, come get some fantastic pork at the third annual Jack Hitt Last Day of Classes Pig Roast! More pop, less tie. What else is there to do? The Invisible Committee published “The Coming Insurrection.” Nine were arrested in France. Glenn Beck called their book “the most evil book.” They are awesome. They come out everyday. Whether nude or fully clothed, Edward Hopper always manages to capture the inner soul of his female subjects. Lord Byron, Mulan and Robin Williams did it. Why shouldn’t you? Romantic poetry and an early death are the makings of a chaste, but epic love story.